``.*___Close your eyes...

Sunday, November 26, 2006

2day when my colleagues went back to work and seeing the clean and empty cubicle where I used to sit for past half of year.. what will they be thinking?

Will they be thinking what i am thinking ? Or they are still so busy till they dun realised that I have left?

I stared at the empty cubicle before I left for the day last friday....for the last time...should I say the feeling is a feeling of insecure? Cubicle is a comfortable zone. Ducking in a corner for half of year and repairing those messy feeling in the heart and soul. Finally charged and ready to explore. Met some of the mosy beautiful people in my life, friendship had been established but it's time to leave.

Anonymous scribbled this at 8:40 AM...

Monday, November 20, 2006

I love the feeling of home ...
Come back from work and lay down on my bed . surf surf surf .
Tok to my mother ...eat home cook food . Juz all these worth living ..
I wonder how iam going to survive if i go to pack and go for a period of time .

I think i will misses my brothers . They are irritating but they complete my life with all their craps.

I misses my colleagues , they make work interesting .

i miss my room . thy are like my battery charger holder. Stinky and messy holder but the most wonderful place on earth.

miss a lot of thing .. anyway juz a short period .

My colleague lend me Rondo 2006. featured choi ji won and takenouchi yutaka. I c how it goes ...

Anonymous scribbled this at 6:31 AM...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I thought I am preparing for an important event tommorow, later , I take a hard look at my letter . The event held on sat instead of monday.

I thought "Y like this?"

Supposed to be there in the morning , but the most unforgettable part of the day is the musical.

I realised it is pre -destined. Previously , there is 2 such event and I thought I am going , hopefully. But , in the end , I did not turn up.

It is good opportunity but i gave a miss it purposely. I don't want to miss this chance , still i think is imp but I let it go.

Then, now i realised, i am tired. Tired of doing something repeatedly and do it again. MAybe I need a rest . I pretty long rest before I will like to attempt again. I mean, I see no reason of doing it when I am gonna leave soon .

Maybe God will like me to go this pathway. I believe this is the best pathway to be .

As i have learnt in a hard way that , life , is to take it a step at a time. No matter how fate throw at you . Doing it's best and enjoy it fullest. Let's make it my motto of " be contented of what I have and I am the happiness person in the world".

However this reminded me of one of the songs that sung at the musical of notre dame :

The Voluptuary.

Light of delight, when everything's alright.
The first man to hold you tight, and show love in all its might.
May no hands other than mine, ever touch your love so fine.
Dark angel of the street, hold on to me I'll show you night is sweet.
Hold on to me; let me see how your wild wings beat.

We, though we're not the same, burn in a single flame.
I want your love; I will risk all my life for you.
Take me; take me if it is my destiny.
Come see, come see if it's your destiny.

Oh destiny, you are the master of man.
Oh destiny, you write our lives in the sand.
Oh destiny, though we do all that we can.
Oh destiny, you say if we fall or stand.
Oh destiny, you hold our lives in your hand.

Oh destiny.
Oh destiny.
Oh destiny.

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Now thinking about the musical , I do pity Quasimodo (the hunchback monster of notre dame) when he utter the words:

God you made the world all wrong, I'm so ugly; he's so fine.
I would love her my life long, but she never would be mine.
Now he owns her heart and soul, without giving her a thing.
And she thinks he'll make her whole, with the love she thinks he'll bring.
She will lie down at his touch, and believe his lies with pride.
It's his face she loves so much, she can't see what's deep inside.
God you made the world all wrong, he's so rich; and I'm so poor.
He will make her life a song; he will give her nothing more.
God you made the world all wrong, let her have her shining knight.
Beauty to the rich belongs, not to us outside the light.
I am just an ugly stain that the world just wants to hide.
God you gave me so much pain, were you ever on my side?
God you made the world all wrong, I have nothing; he has all.
But I'll tell her all along he won't be there is she falls.
He was born to silk and lace, to make love and to make war.
I was born without a face; God, what did you make me for?
Tell me what side god is on, those whose silver buys the host?
Or those who pray to god alone, day and night, this Holy Ghost.
Can this Jesus we adore save his blessing only for.
Those three kings of gold and myrrh, and leave the shepherds at the door?
God you made the world so wrong, I'm so ugly; he's so fine.
I will love her my life long.
But she never will be mine.

He fall in love with beautiful gypsy Esmeralda but her heart belongs to someone else.

Elva told me that night she said the most unforgettable part is the words he say "I know I love you , I don't know if you do love me but I know I love you very very much" .

Becoz he is ugly?
Becoz he is not rich?
Becoz he don't shower you with oh- so- touching love quotes?
Becoz he don't ride on the white horse with shining armor?

How true the old love tragic that reflects modern tales. How many times so true the feeling is , this feeling is not reproached. How many times you have giving this real feeling but it is not trusted. Till one day you thought that this feeling of yours can't be trusted by yourself too?
How to prove this real love ?
Till we died?
So we died ....
But , you are not there anymore.
Dead people don't tell you "yes you are my true love, let's have eternal love together"
Maybe you like to join them to their grave to have "eternally love"
NO wonder they say love is blind foolish game.

Maybe I am trapped within Practical and Truth.Trying to live with truth is the right thing to do but practical shows are actually taking place. But people is actually happier to live with practical substances. People are love taking junk food but what actually norishing for their health is real food. Constantly.

I am don't believe I am going back work 2moro . I thought I have excuse to take MC .
Going to slp , let me dream that that poor hunchback fellow suddenly turn into handsome prince when he saw his lovely Esmeralda dying and when Esmeralda saw the pretty face , chunks of muscles 6 packs, she will wake up and thinking to rather die later .

Anonymous scribbled this at 8:30 AM...

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Yay!

Yesterday,moi is having an enchancing evening with Notre dame de paris

French language is so roomannnticc!

Faithful to Victor Hugo’s classic novel “Notre Dame de Paris”, the show tells the emotionally
charged story of the unfortunate Bell Ringer, Quasimodo’s hopeless devotion to the beautiful
gypsy Esmeralda and her downfall at the hands of Frollo, the provost of the cathedral who falls
victim to an overwhelming desire for this innocent free spirit.

It acclaimed the world best musical , based on Victor Hugo's tale of Quasimodo and Esmeralda, Notre Dame de Paris has been a phenomenal success since it was unleashed in the French-speaking world.

It attracted over 6 million spectators, breaking box-office records in France, Canada, Belgium and Switzerland. The musical is the creation of lyricist Luc Plamondon and composer Richard Cocciante, who have both won numerous awards for their works. The music has sold over 8 million copies so far.

Lyrics at the musical

Anonymous scribbled this at 9:11 PM...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

This is the first entries using my laptop ...

I felt like using other people laptop .. I always use desktop ....lousy desktop ..

There is this feeling of get nervous when using the laptop and looking with my "expensive" new eyes...maybe i got humbled by lousy things since the age of stone.

Perhaps , a feeling of worries that good things don't last long.

I am that of negative person.

The few weeks just so busy with OT and my boss wan to bargain with me to stay longer on the job till they find new person.

I thought " The job will not let the newbies stay longer than 4 mths".

Who the nice person like me will stay OT everyday till average 9pm?Takes the bloody calls from callers overseas isn't easy job. Where std of eng go lish is not their cup of tea...
Btw , I am an efficient worker .. i minimise useless toking during work ... Hence people always thought i am angry when I am quiet working.

I am a workaholic ... since my emotion life is empty now.

I self praise again . It is ok . This 's my method of relieve stress.

Since I am an efficient person , i do appreciate the newest duo core processor built in my laptop.
I am just relieve that doing multi work like doing download + listening mp3+ surfing +msn +burning cds+ transfer data etc etc will not cause that "consipation " in my pc that really piss me off really .

busy this weekend , doing sort of meeting up with elva (she is disney wonder, i am on disney magic) @orchard , conicidently.

I went orchard on sat morning to have my eyes checked at mt elizabeth while she is at orchard for her french class. She called me suddenly asked me to mit up with her and her friends....hmm ..

Since she 's a half japanese blood , i really thought i can speak jap wif her. But , i forget all jap stuff niao ...so pai say hehe

i'm happy to c her again as we chat bout the things happen in our training in disney ; that life raft thing that we have to jump into the sea of bahama and swim to the over capsized raft , climb up and and pull down to the upright position. How unglam , u see our fat thigh hook up and pull our fat body up the high raft is no easy business. It is something like giving birth but without the pain . Oh no , givig birth is easier ya. It is worst that training during the airline thing where we gonna climb the raft. This time , the raft is 2 times huge and u see , under the salty sea and hot sun . we gonna wear that diving suit thing. We gik..

That 's y fellow mates from ship are gonna be forever friends.

Mr Alvaro from Chile amuse me again with "remind you that a lot of guys include me found you that you are a very good looking asian gal "..this time in net .... but this really made day ..

I can't stop that feeling of get praise to say a normal looking asian gals look good looking at their point of views. Wait till he comes here, the streets are full of fairies.

I saw a fairy last week at orchard , Vivian Chow . Gosh . . I believe a lady who is good nature at heart is a pretty lady. I also believe a hardworking lady will pay off by her looks years later on.

But now where is the guys?Recently my colleague ringing the bells , friends prompting me again and again where is my better half or they wonder if i am a L*****N.

I love X japan : This Song Call "Crucify My Love"

Crucify my love,
If my love is blind,
Crucify my love,
If it sets me free;
Never know,
never trust,
"That love should see a color;"

Crucify my love,
If it should be that way.
Swing the heartache;
Feel it inside out;
When the wind cries,
I'll say goodbye;
Tried to learn,
tried to find
To reach out for eternity;
Where's the answer?
Is this forever?

Like a river flowing to the sea,
You'll be miles away and I will know
I know I can deal with the pain -
No reason to cry

Crucify my love,

'Till the loneliness shadows the sky
I'll be sailing down and I will know
I know I can clear clouds away -
Oh, is it a crime to love?

Anonymous scribbled this at 5:26 AM...

Monday, November 06, 2006

I have this sudden thoughts of words to blog... I am thinking about "happiness" that relates to "balance". Let me type down....

What is real happiness?

Real happiness is to let the nature takes it course. Nothing in this world worth my struggle and effort. It is peace in mind and heart. Worries is imaginary. sadness is imaginary . Angry is imaginary. Even been happy is . No one can experience happiness without the sadness and vice versa. I felt that in order to do something in happiness, never grip something etc a dream relationship , job , material ... to hard and too soft.I mean, look forward to it but don't pin all your hope to it. Don't make it your everything. Life is unexpected... it's fall over , so that you have something to support on and move on. other hand, don't be too negativity about doing something, tell ourselves life is about expecting an unexpectancy (cool, that's my quote, it patented okay?).Always remember that nothing is more important than how you feels. The conclusion : Feels balance about how we will going to embark in a thing;

-Overwhelming is a risk to over-rated expectation which leads to disheartening.
-Total negativity is lst step towards failure....even before you started.

--------------------------------------------------------

Few days ago, I went to hunt for a laptop with my brother the III. This I realised that I am not the queen of bargain. Becoz it is totally overcasted by the king of bargain .
Hence, shamelessly trade freebies with their packaged freebies comes with the laptop (yes , i paid for it baby). A laptop comes with branded printer, 100 bucks robinson voucher, carrycase, subwoofer speaker, headphone , optical mouse , norton anti virus but in exchange some of the gift to other useful stuff.

Sometimes in life , it takes 20 years to accept other person...To accept the real of a person. Yes, with it's ugliness.

U have best friends , but is it best enough to live one other for the rest of their lives?

Toking about using each other - Is there people who don't used each other ...in some way ? For example , make friends for accompany. I have never heard , make friends so that I will accompany my friend , so that my friend not be lonely, so that I will be lonely.

I seen this before.. people go together is to use each other in some way (sounds not so nice but put it to fact it is )

So before u say fully trust a person and think that this person have u best at heart , think twice or thice.
In order to thrive here , this earth , who have you not make used of?
-----------------------------------------------
Yesterday , I and dianah is online, we are toking about working life. I discuss that with my family members too.

How many times have your company told you "You are important or your position is very important to their company".

They do say you are important , but do nothing to show to prove their words that you are important.

So , in other words, you are important but not as important to convert you to this job.

OR , in other words, you are not as important as the new hire who need their special attention to train em , orientating on many many days.

My bro III says "Contridicting.."

i shares this injustice
My friend XXX was working in this bloody company for this bloody 1 year 6 months and bloody waiting in vain for converting into perm position. Ask the company --- is that bloody difficult? Get your hr man down with a contract, say that u wan to convert this hardworker of mine -u sign , I sign , tok a bit crap and end of the story. U happy , I happy . Period.

Friend XXX :"Leave em."

" they are making use of you"

No time? Not justifiable!Period.

Yes, I do , but let me play games with em lst. Since they like to play this game with me. I have to be spontaneous!

Thinking about that , that 's wat my colleague who is 3 years younger than me do.

Threatened to transfer dept? Threatened to resign? Go strike.

The Company throw in freebies like new powerful PC and more of these external trainings that worth half bucks of thousands to her. What's more ? XXX days off for her to go trainings and countless orientations of the company?

Do you see courts superstore advertisement in this week sat papers? ?

Start to say :"Yahoo!" K.O (Knockout)offer! FREE!
"K.O deals! 2 days off straight!"HURRY !FREE $2000 branded PC! While stock LAST!
"Wham !" "NEW DEALS THIS WEEK !"

Don't forget to add font of HUGE 56. with exclamation mark, Font style-optional

Oh yeah ... there comes "BIGGEST TRADE-IN EVER!" "STRIKE!"

So my colleague gonna her biggest Knock out Xmas offer ever..

I suspect my company is liasing with the same marketing backbrain with courts superstore.

So where's the real work push to ? You ! U answer all the calls , do all their work while the permanents are enjoying Xmas holiday special baby.

I remember the whole project team went to training . Some take leave, some orientation , some overseas business meeting. The head of the head those biggg office just a few step of us looks at the staff movement table (The staffs disappeared in office are not reflected in at all).

She jolly well written in mail " Oh I see in the staff movement , this is the best day for meeting on our major meeting with project team, lets us held at 3pm !!"

......Pls clap if you got my joke. .........

At here, u strike (yes , strike . protest v.) to promote the sluggish management.

i am going to pop some Bekunis later.

Anonymous scribbled this at 6:41 PM...

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Just lend the oldie-drop tooth japan all time fav "long vacation from my jap school .

I just can't find this vcd anywhere ...i rem the music.

2 weeks ++ after the cutting , burning and closing ...hehe ..my vision is ok now. Even the red spot in my eye white is disappearing oredi.

A life with out spec and CL...is like a complete new me. Is God renew me...Praise the LORD!

i felt the resposiblity to take care my eyes is there.. hik hik ..

The adventurous spirit in me soar again . But I nv like to leave here, although i really wan to leave my 12 hours job .

i rather c it as a God like me to go better place after letting e wait .
It is another adjustment again.

The other side of me is going to evolve. Maybe u are rite. I am not a gal with 2 personality ........

I am a gal with multi personality !!!! ABle to do multi task ....

all

Anonymous scribbled this at 7:27 PM...